trying

I know I'll never understand you
But if you think for a moment you understand me..
Don't wanna be rude, just telling the truth
You just might have another thing coming
I had to climb over writer's block this time
There was a little too much to just keep inside
And wait for a spark or something to inspire
Had to go and do it myself, had to breathe my own fire
Just to talk about it on a page
The thousand and one things that keep me awake
Except I'm not
I've been sleeping better, in case you forgot
I wasn't doing too well, and even though I've still lost it
I sleep a bit better because daytime leaves me exhausted
But here I am still typing
Because fifty sides are fighting
And I am not just surviving
This time I am trying
I wanna be stronger than this
But I'm not, so I'm just gonna get over it
You keep pulling keep pushing keep getting up again
Endurance or not, friend or no friend
And yet I'm barely hanging on
Barely make it through each day
And every week there's something new
And there's nothing left to say
But believe it or not,
They aim it all at me sometimes
You think I'm making up my problems?
You think I have that much time?
One step before the next
Till I hit the note
Afraid to hope
But I don't wanna let go
My only faith is in what You see
I do not trust these human eyes
So I'm hoping for tomorrow
And I shut them, closing tight
I don't mean to rant
This isn't a song
There are things I'm still not saying
I'm just trying to hold on