(I still don't want her to leave, though.)

But she was always better
Always braver
Always kinder
Always prettier
Not that that's what matters

She always had more faith
Always had a place
Always had a lovelier face
Always had a better taste
In everything she'll ever say

People, in general, see her first
The radiance comes in a burst
Always friendly, always sure
I'm not that much compared to her
Don't be mad now, of all this I'm sure

See, she's so expressive
In face and speech
World knows she's sharper
Than a thousand metal sheets
Sings her heart out to God
Lives out her faith
Caring for people
And heavens, that face
Beauty, beauty
And her style is fresh
Even in a bad day
She's still a hot mess
More original than anyone
And intelligent, too
Great at handling problems
And pushing on through
Earns everyone's respect
Within, at most, a week of knowing her
Her life is a song
(Wish I knew all the words)
I'm not saying I'm lame
Or worshipping this girl
I just need a chance
To live my own world

My point is, if they saw me alone
Without meeting him or her beforehand
They'd love me so much more than they do
Because they'd just see me for who I am

Maybe her leaving will be good for me
Maybe then people will actually see
Not that I actually need to be seen
But maybe I'll find myself, or something

And for once in a very long time,
I'm looking forward to lying in bed
And going to sleep
Something will always be wrong
But sometimes being "okay" is a choice
And whatever's wrong doesn't always have to kill me
I can't help but think,
Maybe things are getting better

My Life on Stage

Eyes on you,
Eyes on me
You're doing this right

Purple

Does anyone else even know she's fading?
Am I the only one who can ever see?
I unroll my jeans over my purple knees
And beg life to give her back to me

The Liebster Blog Award

Okay, so I was nominated a LONG time ago by Baylie for this really cool blog award that's passed on from one blogger to the next... and I haven't completed it till now.  I fail. x)  But what you do is, when you're nominated, you have to answer the questions you're given and then give eleven facts about yourself.  Then you nominate someone else and give them questions.
Here goes!



What is your favorite movie, and why?

Thor: The Dark World.  The scenery is beautiful, and the characters are amazing.  The plot's cool too.

Apple or Android?

I'ma go with Apple...

If you could pick one actress to play you in a movie about your life, who would it be? 

I have no idea.

What is your favorite restaurant?

I just really like good food.  I don't know. x)

What is your favorite candy, and why?

I don't know, I like chocolate.

Do you have that one clothing item in your closet that you absolutely hate but can't get rid of? Describe it.

Yeah, my Girl Scouts vest. xD  It's green... and beautiful.

If you could rename yourself, what name would you choose?

Echo, Wendy, Arti... I don't know.  Emily is awesome, but it's really common.

Do you have any weird or special talents?

I can read.

When did you start writing?

Who knows when... I started blogging at 14.

How has blogging/writing helped you in life?

It helps me not explode.  Also express myself and stuff, but mostly not exploding.

What is your favorite poem ever?

Probably something written by Joseph Arze.  Not gonna lie.  I like his poem/song "The Hurt" a ton, but I'm not sure it's my TOP favorite... "Blame" by Rebekah Grey is amazing, too, but again, I don't know.



And now, eleven things prolly everyone reading this knows about me. x)  Maybe not.

1.  Uh.

2.  I've never broken a bone.

3.  I've never had a cavity.

4.  I can't really snap my fingers.

5.  My name means "industrious."  (Ooh, there's a good one.)

6.  My love language is people letting me conquer the planet and rule for all eternity as a tyrant.

7.  I'm running out of things to say.

8.  I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST WITH EVERYTHING IN MY SOUL.

9.  I'm kind of a pessimist (if you read anything I've ever written, you know that).

10.  One time I witnessed Ethan ride his bike off a bridge at least ten feet above a creek (I'm the only one who saw this, mind you), and proceeded to cry even though he wasn't even crying and everyone was acting like it was no big deal.

11.  I hate riding bikes.





Okay, so I nominate Joseph, heheh, and I'm giving him the same questions to answer because I'm too indecisive to come up with new ones.  And, for the third question, I'm obviously changing it to "actor..." Heh
Yay!  Have fun!

Hallucination.

She's gonna kiss the world goodbye

She stands on a platform above me, her tears falling on my face

I guess it is that bad, the end

Despite the suicidal freak in me telling me to do the same

I called her down and she stared at the ground

I was thinking she'd jump without a second thought, it's all she's got

But she climbed down the stairs to me

Told me her name was Adeline, after her sobs

And if I had the power to interpret my dream

I'd say it's everything I wish I could be 

storms

It's just one thing after another
What am I supposed to do?
Electricity flashes through the air
I know it's fed up too

I want to scream into the sky
But it's already screaming
And the rain pours down
But I cry anyway

Song Prompt pt. III

I found another one!!


Your favorite song:  I don't know
Your least favorite song:  Prolly "All About That Bass," by Meghan Trainor
A song that makes you happy:  "Generator^First Floor," by Freelance Whales
A song that makes you sad:  "Second Family Portrait," by Radical Face
A song that reminds you of someone:  "A Thousand Years," by Christina Perri
A song that reminds you of somewhere:  "Battle," by Chris August
A song that reminds you of a certain event:  "Stay Alive," by Jose Gonzalez
A song that you know all the words to:  What song don't I...  I mean, "Taken By Sleep," by Twenty One Pilots
A song that you can dance to:  "NO," by Meghan Trainor
A song that makes you fall asleep:  "Ring Around the Moon," by Elephant Revival
A song from your favorite band:  "Blasphemy," by Twenty One Pilots
A song from a band you hate:  Hate is a strong word
A song that no one would expect you to love:  "You Belong With Me," by Taylor Swift
A song that describes you:  That's difficult... Maybe "Mercury," by Sleeping at Last, or "Tidal Wave," by Owl City
A song that you used to love, but now hate:  Hate is still a strong word, but "Stressed Out," by Twenty One Pilots (can I get an amen?)
A song that you hear often on the radio:  Ha ^^^^^^^
A song that you wish you heard on the radio:  "Castle," by Halsey
A song from your favorite album:  "Cave In," by Owl City
A song that you listen to when you're angry:  I don't, but I have a playlist on Spotify that I sometimes listen to
A song that you listen to when you're happy:  "Innocent Discretion" by Mitis
A song that you listen to when you're sad:  A lot, but "Old Gemini," by Radical Face
A song that you want to play at your wedding:  "All About Us," by He is We and Owl City
A song that you want to play at your funeral:  "100 Years," by Five for Fighting
A song that makes you laugh:  "Dental Care," by Owl City
A song that you can play on an instrument:  "Ghost Towns," by Radical Face
A song that you wish you could play:  "Open Hands," by Ingrid Michaelson, and "Goodbye," by Secondhand Serenade
A song from your childhood:  Anything old by Coldplay
Your favorite song this time of last year:  "Ordinary Day," by Vanessa Carlton, maybe

A few things I am grateful for...

-- Rebekah's sense of fashion (and that she helps me with mine)

-- Wishing for the same thing every time I blow on a dandelion

-- Sushi

-- Hearing Joseph's ringtone on my phone and doing a little dance before I pick up

-- All Isaac's stuffed penguins (and the fact that they regularly talk to me)

-- Fireflies

-- Hearing music playing from Rebekah's room

-- Waking up and feeling productive

-- Taking walks with Isaac when the sun is setting

-- Trying to breathe during a really cold shower

-- Isaac squeezing his eyes closed when I put sunscreen on his face

-- When I pull the covers over me in bed and feel really safe

-- Years of playing soccer

-- Not getting inappropriate jokes

-- Rebekah hiding little plastic aliens in my room, and me hiding them in hers when I find them

-- When Dad makes us pancakes on a Saturday morning

-- Actually wanting to be at co-op

-- Writing in journals throughout the years

-- Finishing all my chores

-- The light in the kitchen when the sun sets

-- The fact that Baylie can be the sweetest, most gentle person in the world, and then basically stomp on your stupid head if you mess with her friends

-- Being Baylie's friend

-- Ethan telling stupid, stupid, stupid jokes

-- Happy

-- Lemonade on a summer day

-- Reading Percy Jackson

-- TREK 2013, and realizing how much I loved those people

-- Laughing with Rebekah while getting ready in the bathroom

-- The excitement of a new school year

-- Hope's loyalty and love

-- Singing at the top of our lungs with Dad and the other kids in the car

-- Orion

-- Conversations with Nick; either being really deep or sounding half-drunk

-- The lazy river at Hawaiin Falls with my brothers

-- Cabin camping

-- Playing disc golf with my family

-- Hannah and I singing "On My Own" in the showers at Messiah's Ranch

-- Seeing the difference in people's lives after they come to know God

-- Grace being adorable and vintage, then pumps and boss woman

-- Watching Joseph, Ethan, and Isaac skip stones

-- Switch 2015

-- Making plans for running away and creating a forest Hobbit community with my geometry classmates

-- Porch swings

-- Joseph's curly hair

-- Drawing pictures throughout different phases of my life

-- Jonathan Inman's laugh

-- Izzy being transparent

-- Swimming to the sandbar on the beach

-- God doesn't change, and neither does His love

-- Joseph telling me to live a little (though I feel plenty alive when I'm around him)

-- My poor, neglected guitar

-- Wearing dresses

-- I just really like Joseph

-- Looking at cute animals and babies on Pinterest with Mom

-- Jillian being my only real friend at Surge, and never once turned her back on me to this day

-- Playing Lego video games with Jojo

-- Songs that make me cry

-- Perfume

-- Grace's vocabulary (lagoon of happiness, I think it was)

-- Texting Charla "yo yo yo"

-- Newcomb

-- Mrs. Cindetta's rant about God creating the middle finger

-- Puppet shows with shadows from a flashlight with Ethan and Isaac

-- Knowing what Joseph is going to say before he says it

-- Also being surprised when Joseph says something spontaneous (a good thing)

-- Laughing so hard my stomach hurts

-- Growing up with Abigail and Crystal Enns

-- When I got Baylie into Owl City

-- Tyler Joseph, Adam Young, and Ben Cooper explaining my life by explaining their's

-- Playing with Rebekah's hair

-- The night Ethan and I were home alone and we were really stressed out so we sat at the table and prayed for each of our friends individually

-- God answering prayer (even if it's a no)

-- Teaching Hannah how to read comics on the bus ride to TREK

-- When me and my siblings used to jump on the trampoline and spray each other with the hose

-- Hope knowing what I mean

-- The lanyards on my closet door (still)

-- Lemon pie

-- Rebekah writing stories out of songs that she hears

-- Baylie and I complaining to each other how no one understands, even though we understand each other in a vague way

-- Playing tag in fifth grade

-- Sitting on a rock at Beach Blast and talking to Joseph (my crush) about growing up

-- Playing The Avengers with my brothers on the trampoline at twelve years old (and being Loki every time)

-- *Nick making burping noises into microphone*
    "Nick"
    "Yes ma'am"
    "Give me the mic"
    "No ma'am"
    (Nick and Rebekah at band practice)

-- Joseph posting on his blog

-- Coldplay

-- Laughing my head off with Grace at Awaken because we all got squared away

-- When Rebekah and Caroline gave Joseph "Toby Mac" drumsticks for his birthday and he was so happy that I wished I had bought him the whole concert

-- Writing Bible verses with chalk

-- Lunch with my siblings

-- All those times at band practice when Joseph would start drumming a song that I knew, and made eye-contact with me

-- Understanding references no one else does

-- Katie Webb hearing all my subtle comments and laughing

-- Rereading drops I received at Anchorage

-- Working in the 1st-3rd grade room at church

-- The semesters of science with Baylie and Jillian

-- Jumping on the Vikes trampoline

-- Dancing with Joseph

-- Beauty

-- That Joseph isn't away right now

-- Hannah always smelling good

-- My cute bookmarks

-- My watch (and Joseph liking my watch, too)

-- Kate Watkins

-- "How often do you shower, Izzy?"
    ...
    "Once."

-- Not being able to stop laughing at one of Izzy's stories, even though he's back to a serious part of the lesson

-- Throwing pillows at Mr. John

-- "Step Out" by Jose Gonzalez

-- Lace

-- The Twenty One Pilots concert

-- Beach Blast

-- Random texts of encouragement

-- Rebekah getting a scholarship

-- Kissing Isaac on the head

-- Mail addressed to me

-- Winter retreats

-- Shopping for new clothes

-- Going to Disney World

-- Helping feed the homeless in Dallas (even though I'm always scared to)

-- Complimenting people

-- Nick and Ethan acting like dorks

-- Seeing the world better when I got glasses

-- Joseph carrying my backpack even when I insist I can do it just fine (because I don't have to)

-- When Ethan and Joseph were basketball coaches for Isaac's team and they both tried to impress me at practices and Joseph could dunk and Ethan pretended to

-- Rebekah being my little punk girl

-- When everyone was in love with "Anna Sun"

-- My friends being cultured and original

-- Shelby making funny faces in pictures that I take

-- Obsessing over Marvel...

-- Jenna Steele

-- Coca Cola

-- Ethan and I rating each other's burps (we totally don't do that)

-- Finding clothes for a great price like an ENJOY COKE TEE FOR ONLY FOUR DOLLARS AM I RIGHT

-- Vans

-- "Awkward silence" with Baylie

-- Painting

-- The big window in my room facing the sunset

-- The first time Joseph asked if I was okay

-- Taking pictures

-- The fact that this list could go on forever

Dance Lessons

We slid down the slides under the night sky

The streets were all quiet, but we were alive 

"I'm following you, Captain Peter Pan."

"Come on, Wendy bird!" and you took my hand

We ran from the swing set, we climbed the playground 

Didn't play hide and seek, we were already found

And I couldn't help but laugh, it felt so right

Like children with wisdom about all our lives

We climbed a nine-foot mountain and conquered the world

You were my boy and I was your girl

You promised me everything, with your arms stretched wide

I laughed; all I wanted was you by my side

We talked about life, and I got this feeling 

Orion watched over us and must have heard my heart beating

I didn't know about tomorrow, it was something I couldn't see

But I knew my future, he was right next to me 

And please give us wisdom, we need it more than ever in this harsh world.

Thank you, God, for staying the same
When all I ever do is change

I love You.

Perfume

She sprays perfume on before bed
To keep the sorrow from her head
Today was great, but like I've said
Not every night can be okay

She's gone four days without a cry
But in the shower wonders why
For every time she has to try
But still everything stays the same

She dozes off during her school
She accidentally breaks the rules
She feels alone when on her knees
Just like a blind girl in the trees
She barely gets out of her bed
But climbs out of her peace instead
She wants to be a burning light
But burns herself with her own mind
She stays away from what is wrong
And second-guesses if she's strong
Just feels like another stupid thing
Thinks like all the sheltered kids think
She loves her room during the day
But in the night it's like her grave
She has some dreams she keeps locked up
She has some reasons that she's stuck
She curses herself in her mind
But once in a while knows that she's right
She says sometimes that she'll give up
And other times that she'll grow up
She takes a walk and closes her eyes
Doesn't want to see all of this life
She lets it go with just a sigh
Think she's forgotten how to fly

But she's still trying
But she's still trying
But she's still trying
But she's still trying