Adults don't remember the things
They stressed over for the entire first segment of their lives
The hours into the night
The days and days of your life
The tears and tears in your eyes
As you stare at a page and try to make sense of it
As you move your pencil and try to keep trying this
And you won't even remember all of this when you grow up
But worry about it now, because they say you'll need this for life
And they say they're always right
So get good grades, it would be wise
One day you'll see it was fine
And you'll be glad in hindsight
Well, say what you'd like
But it doesn't change the fact that I need to grow some wings and get out of here
I'm wasting my life away
There's got to be more
And I'm tired of watching tragedy after tragedy
While learning about parabolas
This is too much for me, it's too much for me
I've gotta get out of here
It's time to go
If running away could save my best friend's mom
If leaving this place could cure my sister of her anxiety
If pulling on my shoes could stop my brother's heart from breaking
If not coming back could cure my friends of their depression
If running away could give me a lion heart and make me the person my boyfriend needs me to be
Oh, you bet I would be gone
I would fly away and never return
I would decide my own way to live and I would live to the full
"You need to learn all of this so that you will be prepared for life."
I think you're missing the point
I think you're missing the point
I think that maybe you're missing the point
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Missing
Sometimes, when you're gone
It all feels unreal, unmade
But other times, it's painfully real
I can't focus on school
Words don't reach my mind
I can't eat my food
I don't sleep at night
And when I do,
I wake up at 4:05
Pull at my hair,
And try to imagine you by my side
I see you in every place you're not
I can't breathe because of
The space between us
And every scene is missing you
And it takes me hours to accomplish
A single, simple task
All my other thoughts are blurred
My stomach hurts
And I can't bring myself
To even climb out of my bed
It all feels unreal, unmade
But other times, it's painfully real
I can't focus on school
Words don't reach my mind
I can't eat my food
I don't sleep at night
And when I do,
I wake up at 4:05
Pull at my hair,
And try to imagine you by my side
I see you in every place you're not
I can't breathe because of
The space between us
And every scene is missing you
And it takes me hours to accomplish
A single, simple task
All my other thoughts are blurred
My stomach hurts
And I can't bring myself
To even climb out of my bed
But sometimes it doesn't feel real
And when you leave,
You slowly turn into an idea
Haunting my mind,
Telling me things were once better
Like an image in the back of my head
That I can't get rid of, and though I might deny it
The image determines most of what I do
But it's just a word I can't place
A happy thought I can't get to
And you bleed into my dreams
Over and over again
You're the hero in every movie I watch
You're the reason that I cry
When the plot twists and the lover dies
I think about the way I used to see you
How I couldn't get to you
No matter how much I wanted to
And on days like these, I feel the same way
Like you're distant, like you couldn't stay
Like some things are too good to be true
I guess one of those things is you
And when I'm talking to other people
Certain words stand out
Certain facial expressions,
Some hugs, some jokes
Some references
And it's like I'm trying to piece together the dream I had last night
Because it was a really good dream that I need to write down
I just had it, I just had it
Slipping from my hands like sand
Daring me to keep believing
Whispering, things were better once
Even if I was only dreaming
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Song Prompt pt. V
It was time.
(This one is long)
A song that makes you happy (don't they all start like this?): Lisztomania, by Phoenix
A song that makes you sad (that's original): Can't Break Her Fall, by Mat Kearney
A song that makes you think of happy love: Accidentally in Love, by Counting Crows
A song that makes you think of tragic love: Over the Love, by Florence and the Machine (I CAN'T GET OVER THIS SONG IT'S SO FREAKING AMAZING)
A song that reminds you of high school: And Run, by He is We
A song you would consider your anthem: Turn it Off, by Paramore; Lady Blue, by As Cities Burn (it speeds up if you happen to listen to it); Miracle Mile, by Cold War Kids (and always Seven Nation Army, but not as lyrically as the rest)
A song that reminds your best friend of you: I forget xD
A song that reminds you of your favorite book: I don't have a favorite book. This is one of the best questions on here, but I unfortunately can't think of anything right now.
A song that breaks your heart: Fast Car, by Tracy Chapman
A song you can't resist dancing to: 1901, by Phoenix
A song that describes your life: Shattered, by Trading Yesterday
A song you can't resist listening to once it starts playing: Absolute, by The Fray
A song no one likes but you: Sleepyhead, by Passion Pit (except for Alex, bless him)
A song from your favorite film: Deliverance, by Brian Tyler (I think I pick this every time)
A song you feel like you relate to, but you can't really: Nightclothes, by Radical Face
A song that would be the anthem of your childhood/preteen years: Tidal Wave, by Owl City; chorus of Amsterdam, by Imagine Dragons
A song that would play during your death scene if your life were a movie: I can't find a perfect one, but maybe O, by Coldplay; Run, by Snow Patrol; or the first three minutes of Corynorhinus, by Hans Zimmer. Hehehehe
A song you hope to dance to at your wedding: All About Us, by He is We
A song you heard live: Kitchen Sink, by Twenty One Pilots
A song that makes you feel empowered: Make a Shadow, by Meg Myers
A song that makes you think of someone important to you: What Sarah Said, by Death Cab for Cutie (makes me think of more than one)
A song to describe the most important event in your life so far: I can't name a single most important event other than being saved, and I don't think I could find a proper song for that. I'll probably think of something a month from now and smack myself.
A song you discovered via a commercial: None
A song you can daydream to: Friends Make Garbage (Good Friends Take it Out), by Low Roar
A song that makes you want to kick some [butt]: Do I Wanna Know?, by The Arctic Monkeys
A song that makes you turn up the volume on your radio: Cheap Thrills, by Sia (sorry) (wait no I'm not)
A song you would like people to listen to and think of you: Well I just like when people think of me, I won't be picky. Taken by Sleep and Guns for Hands, by Twenty One Pilots, perhaps. But I'll take anything.
A song that you find incredibly beautiful: Columbia, by Local Natives
A song you would like your loved ones to play at your funeral: Stay Alive, by Jose Gonzalez (not meant to be cruel irony, but you can take it that way xD )
(This one is long)
A song that makes you happy (don't they all start like this?): Lisztomania, by Phoenix
A song that makes you sad (that's original): Can't Break Her Fall, by Mat Kearney
A song that makes you think of happy love: Accidentally in Love, by Counting Crows
A song that makes you think of tragic love: Over the Love, by Florence and the Machine (I CAN'T GET OVER THIS SONG IT'S SO FREAKING AMAZING)
A song that reminds you of high school: And Run, by He is We
A song you would consider your anthem: Turn it Off, by Paramore; Lady Blue, by As Cities Burn (it speeds up if you happen to listen to it); Miracle Mile, by Cold War Kids (and always Seven Nation Army, but not as lyrically as the rest)
A song that reminds your best friend of you: I forget xD
A song that reminds you of your favorite book: I don't have a favorite book. This is one of the best questions on here, but I unfortunately can't think of anything right now.
A song that breaks your heart: Fast Car, by Tracy Chapman
A song you can't resist dancing to: 1901, by Phoenix
A song that describes your life: Shattered, by Trading Yesterday
A song you can't resist listening to once it starts playing: Absolute, by The Fray
A song no one likes but you: Sleepyhead, by Passion Pit (except for Alex, bless him)
A song from your favorite film: Deliverance, by Brian Tyler (I think I pick this every time)
A song you feel like you relate to, but you can't really: Nightclothes, by Radical Face
A song that would be the anthem of your childhood/preteen years: Tidal Wave, by Owl City; chorus of Amsterdam, by Imagine Dragons
A song that would play during your death scene if your life were a movie: I can't find a perfect one, but maybe O, by Coldplay; Run, by Snow Patrol; or the first three minutes of Corynorhinus, by Hans Zimmer. Hehehehe
A song you hope to dance to at your wedding: All About Us, by He is We
A song you heard live: Kitchen Sink, by Twenty One Pilots
A song that makes you feel empowered: Make a Shadow, by Meg Myers
A song that makes you think of someone important to you: What Sarah Said, by Death Cab for Cutie (makes me think of more than one)
A song to describe the most important event in your life so far: I can't name a single most important event other than being saved, and I don't think I could find a proper song for that. I'll probably think of something a month from now and smack myself.
A song you discovered via a commercial: None
A song you can daydream to: Friends Make Garbage (Good Friends Take it Out), by Low Roar
A song that makes you want to kick some [butt]: Do I Wanna Know?, by The Arctic Monkeys
A song that makes you turn up the volume on your radio: Cheap Thrills, by Sia (sorry) (wait no I'm not)
A song you would like people to listen to and think of you: Well I just like when people think of me, I won't be picky. Taken by Sleep and Guns for Hands, by Twenty One Pilots, perhaps. But I'll take anything.
A song that you find incredibly beautiful: Columbia, by Local Natives
A song you would like your loved ones to play at your funeral: Stay Alive, by Jose Gonzalez (not meant to be cruel irony, but you can take it that way xD )
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
:')
Things were supposed to get better today, but they didn't
I hurry to my bed as I start to black out
And I lie there for a while, just lie there
Soon enough I'll take a trip to the bathroom
My hair is oily and unbrushed, my lips swollen and peeling
The only parts of me that even appear to be awake are my eyes,
Begging for an escape from the fragile body they are tied to
And my hands stay cold for hours after I wash them
I ask Mom for a blanket
Then another, then another
The time passes slowly
I check my watch
"No one's at the church yet, save the leaders and maybe Trey"
6:32
"A couple more kids"
6:43
"Maybe a few more"
I hear Dad calling from downstairs
"Are you going to Fuze, Emily?"
"No," I say, and I'm glad he can't see me, because
My eyes are tearing up
Why do I get so lonely?
Dad takes Isaac to Grapple, and I sob
7:14
They've probably started now
9:00
Maybe someone will text me
I distract myself for a while, I think
And after forever, I think I hear his voice outside
Nah
Prolly just Ethan
But there it is again, and it sounds less like Ethan
There's a knock, which raises my hopes, since Rebekah has a key
Maybe she was too lazy
But I rush downstairs anyhow, and almost trip over poor Scout
The door swings open, and it's him
Ethan
Just kidding, it's Joseph
(Way to ruin the romantic moment)
I can't believe he's here
He's very cute
But I haven't showered, I must smell terrible, don't get me started on my hair
That's when he pulls me into a hug
I list off the reasons why he shouldn't be hugging me while I'm taking in his warmth
(Why am I like that??)
But he tells me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world
And asks how much I've eaten, why am I not sleeping, etc.
With concern in his eyes
I'm pretty sure my breath is a graveyard
But I answer his questions
And he tells me not to be sick
He has to go all too soon, but he calls me on the phone
"You know, I really meant when I called you the most beautiful girl in the world."
And what did I do to deserve this kind of love?
Nothing.
I hurry to my bed as I start to black out
And I lie there for a while, just lie there
Soon enough I'll take a trip to the bathroom
My hair is oily and unbrushed, my lips swollen and peeling
The only parts of me that even appear to be awake are my eyes,
Begging for an escape from the fragile body they are tied to
And my hands stay cold for hours after I wash them
I ask Mom for a blanket
Then another, then another
The time passes slowly
I check my watch
"No one's at the church yet, save the leaders and maybe Trey"
6:32
"A couple more kids"
6:43
"Maybe a few more"
I hear Dad calling from downstairs
"Are you going to Fuze, Emily?"
"No," I say, and I'm glad he can't see me, because
My eyes are tearing up
Why do I get so lonely?
Dad takes Isaac to Grapple, and I sob
7:14
They've probably started now
9:00
Maybe someone will text me
I distract myself for a while, I think
And after forever, I think I hear his voice outside
Nah
Prolly just Ethan
But there it is again, and it sounds less like Ethan
There's a knock, which raises my hopes, since Rebekah has a key
Maybe she was too lazy
But I rush downstairs anyhow, and almost trip over poor Scout
The door swings open, and it's him
Ethan
Just kidding, it's Joseph
(Way to ruin the romantic moment)
I can't believe he's here
He's very cute
But I haven't showered, I must smell terrible, don't get me started on my hair
That's when he pulls me into a hug
I list off the reasons why he shouldn't be hugging me while I'm taking in his warmth
(Why am I like that??)
But he tells me I'm the most beautiful girl in the world
And asks how much I've eaten, why am I not sleeping, etc.
With concern in his eyes
I'm pretty sure my breath is a graveyard
But I answer his questions
And he tells me not to be sick
He has to go all too soon, but he calls me on the phone
"You know, I really meant when I called you the most beautiful girl in the world."
And what did I do to deserve this kind of love?
Nothing.
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