Home.

If I opened the door
A little too fast
It's because this month
Was all that would last
Maybe it's because
I was afraid it was a dream
And I had to seize the moment
Before it ran from me
Or maybe it's that
It was the knock of my friend
And I had to act
Before you left again
So tell me it's real
'Cause I'm dramatic and all that
My head needs to grasp
That you're finally back

You don't know how perfect
It is in my mind
To say that I'll see you
And mean it this time

Try.

I pull up the covers and think of these things
So many things that I can't fix or heal
Singing, "I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep"
So many things that I can't help but feel

Oh, where do I even start?
The wind could sweep me off my feet
I cannot mend the broken hearts
That always and never call out to me

I couldn't help but ask
Am I going it alone?
By tearing off my mask
And crying on the phone

"Help me, help me!"
I hear them cry
"Dearest, I can't,
"You won't let me try."

So I curl up at night
I sob and I say
"There is power in the name of Jesus
"To break every chain."

Gone

And I can't write like her
I can't sing like her
I can't play like her
I can't breathe like her
I can't live like her
I can't see like her
I can't ride like her
I can't dream like her
I can't know like her
I can't think like her
I can't help like her
I'm not free like her

And she's not sleeping well these nights
Wish she'd let me help her fight

Slipping

I don't know what I am to you
If I'm even a friend
But you don't understand that I understand
What you see again and again

I don't know who I am to you
If I am just a name
But you mean much to me, and I can't
Watch you fall away

I'd be alright

If I could just see you

Cold War Kids

Knots.

I swear that I'm different
What else can I do, right?
And yet I find myself
Out of everyone else's sight
Fading into oblivion
Disappearing into the air
And in the end, I was a breath
That everyone knew was there
But no one ever saw me.
A poem about myself
Original, right?
Because everyone writes about himself
Every time
But I see people
Clear as day
I observe and understand
They never need to explain
I appreciate them
And take few for granted
I take the time
I always get it
So I can see people
And try to help
I can see everyone
But myself
I comprehend everything
Except what's in this skin
Tell me, how is that
Any way to win?
I keep finding myself
In the corner of my room
Trying to whisper
What I think is true
Fighting for myself
Trying to keep who I am
Before it blows away
Like the grains of sand
Hugging my knees
And holding too tight
Telling myself
What's wrong and what's right
Meanwhile faces
Of all of my friends
Float in front of my closed eyes
Again and again
I'm fighting for them
And losing myself
I look in the mirror
And can't even tell
This is who I am
That is me
But that's the person
They can't see
I'm drifting back and forth
I'm falling and flying up
Between the worry that everyone needs me
And the fear that nobody does
I can't save the day
When I'm slipping away
Screaming "no one understands" in my sleep
Why is my confidence the one thing I can't keep?
I swear that I'm gonna be fine
Things like these just take a little time
I have to convince myself I don't care what anyone thinks
This is a poem about me, maybe I will see
And no one is going to understand
That's okay, that's the plan
Why are knotted rhymes my therapy?
Why are my emotions choking me?
It's my curse to love everyone
More than they love me
And I need to stop writing now
I need to stop crying out
Convince myself I won't fade to nothing
This doesn't make sense, but I had to say something

My Tidal Wave.

Depression, please cut to the chase
And cut a long story short
Oh please, be done
How much longer can this drama afford to run?





Owl City 

Wingspan

There are birds that wake up when I do
In the middle of the night, and sing a tune
Broken was the one who flew
Trying to get back to you

To Be Honest

To be honest,
There's a detestable part of my soul that stopped believing
That you're coming home, and so now I'm deceiving
Myself, my mind doesn't know what to do
Because in this world that keeps spinning, it's hard to find truth
So I'm all out of options, God's always been my refuge
But to hide from myself I often ran to you
And to be honest,
I've been staying up talking to Ethan all night
And then trying to sleep in the next day 'cause of fright
'Cause I don't wanna wake up to another day without you
And you're everywhere and nowhere, and I can't make it through
Well, nothing makes sense anymore in my head
I guess it's that much easier to just stay in bed
And to be honest,
I've been learning guitar for a while now
And tearing up my fingers to create a sound
That hopefully succeeds in helping me drown
Out all the thoughts that I find are too loud
And I've been ripping my fingers until they go numb
Filling in pain where there are thoughts of us
If I could replace them, my work would be done
But I keep on playing because they are stuck
And to be honest,
I took Isaac for granted and now he's away
But I never did that with you, and you didn't stay
So my heart's freaking out and my mind is too loud
And my tears are too few for a head that's too proud
To tell even one soul I'm about to fall down
Except for my God, to whom I've definitely cried out
And I can feel Him with me and I think that I can see
And He's helping me through and I know He's testing me
He'll always be by my side, and He's doing great things
But there is no freaking way that that makes this easy
To be honest.

Cruel Irony

The cheaters always think
Everyone else is cheating

The liars always think
Everyone else is lying

The burglars always think
Everyone else is stealing

But the criers never believe
Anyone else is crying

Quiet Strength.

Could've come like a mighty storm
With all the strength of a hurricane
You could've come like a forest fire
With the power of Heaven in Your flame

But you came like a winter snow
Quiet, and soft, and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below





Chris Tomlin

And you and I both know
This is gonna have to be something
Bigger than us

Stained Handwriting.

And the world is shifting

As I hold your letter far too tight

Tell me I'm not dreaming

I feel the water in my eyes

Sense is fleeing

Help me see

Can I keep believing

You're talking about me?

It's a little too perfect

To fit into my life

Maybe I wrote it

And made it just right

Maybe I wrote all those letters

I keep in my drawer

Maybe it's all make believe

I'm in some asylum of the sort

So I hold on to a photograph

There's no way I made that up

I guess this is the aftermath

If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up

Have a good tomorrow and the rest of those days

Isaac: "Where is he??"
Me: "HOUSTON."
Isaac: "I was talking about my stuffed Stitch..."


Oh.

Once Upon a Fight

"Nothing's ever as it seems,"
Says the smile with broken dreams
Dreams that somehow left in flames
Guess it left us wide awake

Do you remember a day before all of this?
Before lightning cracked open the skies
We were invincible, now what did we miss?
The towel never dries our eyes

What on earth happened?
All our dreams are shattered
Now we're begging the streetlights
To tell us we matter
A time ago we jumped in the puddles
And we ignored our differences
We always looked up to the skyline
Back when we were princesses

It wasn't hard to speak a name
And hide and seek was just a game
Now instead of a prince and a palace
It seems we've picked up battle axes

'Cause Cinderella's shoe won't fit
And Alice fell too hard this time
Freedom up and left Jasmine
And Wendy forgot how to fly

What on earth happened?
All our dreams are shattered
Now we're begging the streetlights
To tell us we matter
A time ago we jumped in puddles
And we ignored our differences
We always looked up to the skyline
Back when we were princesses

Now Snow White will never eat apples again
Aurora cannot mend her kids' socks
Wendy is terrified of "the end's"
And Alice worries over ticking clocks
Yeah all of us, we have our scars
From wishing on a shooting star
If you find home is way too far
And growing up is way too hard

What on earth happened?
All our dreams are shattered
Now we're begging the streetlights
To tell us we matter
A time ago we jumped in puddles
And we ignored our differences
We always looked up to the skyline
Back when we were princesses

Yeah all of us, we have our scars
From wishing on a shooting star
But when we let the dreams back in
That's when the real magic begins

Lights

"We're under the same sky,"
And I have to sound out
Each word in my mind

I closed my eyes
Because your song just came on
You're by my side

And I'm writing with my right hand on the phone
Because my brother fell asleep leaning against me
God is here, I'm not alone.

Our time went back to normal, and the hours are few
But I'll tell you I never changed my watch
I don't know why, maybe I felt closer to you.

Change.

"Wow," they say, "you're growing up,
"Your eyes are strange, your face is changing."
Guess you could say I'm not the same
They keep saying, they keep saying
Here's a shade of many years
My hair is kept, my clothes are clean
I speak with intelligence
I'm not a child, I don't think
Now people from my younger years
See me passing time to time
Sometimes they avoid my glance
Sometimes they look me in the eye
They might greet me with a word
Or break into a smile
They seem like they're about to cry
Every once in a while
Sometimes they never say a word
And stay away a couple feet
That's when I pretend not to note
That they're staring at me
"Please don't tell me that I've changed,
"Believe me now, I know.
"If I've dealt with chapters full of pain,
"That would mean I've grown."
But I look at them and we both understand
Who I used to be's no longer who I am
How long will I be in this familiar stance?
I watch them observe the bruises on my hands

Well, you never know it's over till it's gone

And you never know there's hurt till it carries on

And they never know you're right till you prove them wrong

So you've gotta grow up and take a long shot

See, where's your little girl that earns tough boys' respect?

And where's the one with the soccer ball?

Wearing basketball shorts and her rugged hair down

Swinging or standing up tall

I guess she should've fallen off the face of your earth

Never thought you'd see her around

Maybe you fooled yourself into thinking she was never gonna change

As soon as you left her town

It doesn't matter.

I'm out of state now watching Florida blow through my sister's hair

And she's collecting seashells on the beach
And every time I flash back, you're always there
I'm still checking everyone's blogs
Every hour I'm away
'Cause there's a beating thing inside that cares too much
So I'm making sure that my girls are okay
The palm trees sway back and forth
And there's salt in the cool, cloudy air
There's a slight taste of home that keeps blowing about
And dear, I see you everywhere
I look out the car window
Just like I used to look out the one that sits in my room
My eyes are glued to the atmosphere
And I'm searching the sky for you

My thoughts take up too much space

So I hurl them onto this worn out blog

And they twist into barely-formed rhymes

I'm not like them, but I can try

Would that be enough for her?

Because it seems I've strained for something beyond the stars

I have to keep writing about how I don't need everyone's respect

Because otherwise they see the scars

You know, they never understand completely

And maybe only one person's ever really known me
The person I'm not gonna see for a few more weeks
No, they don't understand.
But she never tells me
About anything in her life
So my heart listens through doors
And reads between the lines
Every freaking time.
And she'll say that it's fine
She's good, she can lie
But she forgot I
Know how to read minds

That doesn't matter either, I'll write it till it's true

There are still so many things I'm learning how to do

Like how to trick myself into not thinking about you

It never works, but I get through 

I hold onto your voice when I hear it at night

Am I losing you, or losing the fight?

Everything goes like the fading of light 

You're more like a dream now, but it's still mine

And Mom says, "Missing makes the heart grow fonder,"

As if that was something I needed to ponder

And I tell myself that I'll keep getting stronger

But these days just tell me that they're stretching longer

But that's alright.

See, the things that used to matter to me

Don't matter to me at all

And the things I never thought about

Are the things for which I fall

I'm not excited to grow up

And they look at me like they're so done

But the one thing I can say is

Wendy Darling changes

(Don't Let Go)

If you open up the present
That I sent you through the air
Darling, you will find that
It's another solar flare

Parcel.

Wish I could say "I miss you," in Latin or French
So that it could have the effect all again
But I can't even speak to you, no, not tonight
So I guess I'll wait till another light
And speaking of light, remember our God
When things may go downhill, and it just gets hard
I'm sending you starlight from miles away
I'm packaging sunlight for when it dawns day
The postal service is nice, hope it doesn't get lost
With all the mail from other girls whose best friends are gone
I put on eight stamps, you know, just in case
I packaged it nicely and used lots of tape
I sewed in pretty words, till I see you again
And I may have written them in Latin or French

Never Here

I couldn't really feel then
What I'm feeling right now
I told you you could do it
Like I decided long ago

I couldn't really process
The fact that you were leaving
The fact that our goodbye was
Me just letting go

I told myself forever
I would be the strong one
Leaving it behind me
Holding my head high

I guess I broke my promise
When I went through the doorway
Then raced up the staircase
And in my closet, cried

So silently sobbing
Almost started yelling
But someone was over
So I choked on myself

Now that I could hold it
Now that I could grasp it
Now I see your face in
Everybody else

My sister had just told me
You've got thirty minutes
To pack up your backpack
Before we leave again

So I tried packing pieces
Of my tattered heart and
Put them in my backpack
And swore that it would end

I cupped some water in my
Hands and splashed it onto
My eyes to wash away the
Shimmering layer of tears

Won't tell them that it's easy
But they will never ask me
And if they ever ask you
I was never here

Wow

If I was really loyal
I wouldn't really know
If I was loyal to myself
It wouldn't really show
The one thing I can say is
I'm never letting go
Come to me, I'll run to you
If you need some hope
So find me in the darkness
When shadows make you scared
Find me in the water
When you're caught unprepared
I'll be by your side
You'll be in my care
That's when I'll protect you
'Cause no one else was there
I'll paint you a picture
But it won't be bright enough
I'll write you a poem
But I'll never say enough
I'll sing you a song
But it couldn't be pretty enough
'Cause you, you make
My mind go blank
Of all the things
I have to say
And you, you make
My head explode
With too much inside
That never shows
It's an impossible puzzle
That I can't seem to solve
The pieces are scattered
But it doesn't feel wrong
It's nothing I can write
I just know that it's real
And wow, stupid me
Trying to explain how I feel

Got Me.

I think you, and the moon, and Neptune got it right.



Echosmith 

Footsteps

Darkness enveloped my back and sides, but ahead of me came a light from the stage.  Lots of light, actually.  I could see the rest of the students as I studied the auditorium.  Most of them were in front of me, a lot of my friends were behind me, and one friend was by my side.  The other seat?  Empty.  Maybe I had been saving it for someone who never showed up.  There's no way to know.
The brightness of the stage continued to dim, and a gentle humming began.  A humming I knew.  Years ago, I felt, it had flowed into my veins, thus making its way into my heart.  It stayed, though.  Never left.
All of these thoughts happened in a second or two; funny how one's subconscious can navigate memories, emotions, senses, and observations so quickly.
Suddenly, Kate stood up, slightly crouched over as to not disturb the teenagers behind us.  My gaze immediately went to her as she spoke.
"Come on!" she said, just above a whisper.
The expression on her face was brighter then that stage could ever be, and she hurried out of our row of chairs.  Abruptly, I abandoned my plastic seat and followed, only half wondering what she was doing.  The rest of me swelled with adrenaline and joy as I tailed Kate down the side of the spacious room.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed other people starting to stand up from their chairs.  We ran.
In a moment's time, we were right in front of the stage, and the worship team had made their entrance.  I found us all the way to the left, but all the way to the front.  Everyone else gathered behind and next to us, and slowly, a song began.

"I was lost,
"With a broken heart."

Basically.

"Now you can join them," he said, placing it down with care.

I laughed a bit.

"Yeah..."

His eyes met mine, and his face broke into a grin.

"You're not going to tell them, are you?" he asked.  "You're going to keep it a secret."

Another chuckle slipped from my mouth.  I'm not quite sure how he knew.

"Yep," I replied.

The Midst Of--

Every other night, dear
And you know, for me,
It's hard to believe it's real

So I lie awake for hours
Thinking of what happened
After my heart and mind tried to strike a deal

My head won't let me process
Just how far we've come
So sometimes I'm stuck in the midst of yesterday

Back when there was lighting
And only thunder followed
So now I can't believe you're here to stay

Make it go away