I thought maybe
Getting on a train
Would get me help
It's simple, plain
But it started to move
It carried me off
Why hadn't I read the name!?
This was my Train of Thought
So here I am
Still mad at myself
The Train of Thought's the last train
That'll get me help
But here I am
So I've gotta write
I'm still on this train
I'll be here all night
Oh, someone let me out!
You are here, you know
But silly me, I'm tired
I guess you really don't
Well, let me tell you-- you are
You're one of the reasons I stay
On this train that takes me far
And now I'm far away
But it's horrible, you see
Because you don't don't look at me
You're just a memory
And I can't change a thing
Do you know why
I hate this train?
Because it's connected
To my brain
And oh, my mind is
An awful place
The world's exploded nine times
Now bits in outer space
There was a shooting at
Your school today
And "Panic Attack"
Became my new name
But now you're fine
You're good, you're safe
But golly, do I
Hate this train
It takes me to places
I don't want to go
It zooms up the mountains
And straight through the snow
It dives off the edge
Into tomorrow
You'd think since it's my train,
I'd be the conductor, right?
But I haven't had control
In several thousand nights
"Emily, oh Emily,"
They say to me
Smiling sympathetically
"No, you don't need therapy."
Oh just wait, you will see
Say in a few days
I'll be all good and free
Tell me I'm okay
But you'd have to lie to me
So walk away, I'll let you go
But I'll still be here when you leave
I talked to people today
(They told me I was okay)
And some of their words were helpful
Some of them will stay
There are two dogs in front of me
Only enough food for one to eat
And now I choose which one I feed
Pressure, pressure, Emily
No one knows I'm worried sick
But how should they when it never slips
None of it would pass my lips
But maybe my pen could handle it
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know what to do
But the only thing I want to do
If I'm being honest and true
Is just sit down and talk to you
I'm okay, but I'm looking for proof
So how can one expect to listen to God
When they don't even listen to their parents?
"No, you don't understand."
No, I think I do
Do you really believe I've never walked
In that same pair of shoes?
What's right is right,
What's wrong is wrong
Doesn't seem like I should have to
Put that in a song
But oh, I'm done
(My mind is not)
Can someone please just
Get me off?
I don't need this
Train of Thought
My heart is scared
My bones repaired
My stomach aches
With worry's wears
If you were on this train
A couple years back
Maybe you'd feel the same
As I did in that
You would feel alone
And you couldn't see
A couple years ago
Yeah, that was me
You'd walk on your own
And you would not believe
(Anything)
Things are different now
From before
Now I'm facing
Different storms
The ones my train moves
Right on through
Without solving anything
Yeah, who knew?
But that's okay
I'm not alone
And I believe
And I've found home
Maybe if I close my eyes
I won't meet my demise
My thinking will subside
So in that case, goodnight!
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