Precious Metals

He was crying in his room
But she got home and made it better
She's had so much space to become herself
More than when we were all together

Almost too much space, I'd think
She walks the campus all alone
Eats alone, thinks alone, no one holds the door
But maybe it's worth becoming her own
I wouldn't know

The only value I see in myself comes from You
I know that's the way that it should be
But I'm afraid I don't give You enough credit in this
Because with all this value, there's not much I can see

The flaws in my brain are at it again
"I don't make a difference," so says my head
Which is entirely selfish, in an obvious way
But I want to make a difference for my King, as I've said

She's made such an impressionable mark
I know I'm "not supposed to be like her," whatever that means
You can see where she's been, because they talk of her light
And even the kids at church love her more than me

This probably isn't as selfish as it seems
I want to be bright so people see God through me
Not for me, for Him, to further His Kingdom
But how is one useful when she isn't seen?

Thus, depression takes over and I'm searching for purpose
Because I don't compare outward appearance, just characteristics
And I lose myself because I'm not satisfied
"If I don't make a difference, why am I alive?"

But the thing about that is that it's not based on trust
If I love God, I will have faith enough
That He could use someone as unvital as I seem
So help me focus on You, not the blood running from me