Seventeen...

I'll wake up seventeen
So if I stay up all night, what does that make me?
Not sure how it sits with me
Not sure what I'm thinking exactly
When I was a little girl
I'd play "college" with my siblings
They'd fluctuate between different ages
But I'd always chosen seventeen
(ha, college)
I'd always sit and wonder what I'd be like
Excited to be prettier, dying to be braver
Figure out what my talents were
"I don't know what I'll look like, I'll find out later"
I used to watch my mom put on makeup
Every single morning, asking when
I'd be allowed to put it on myself
And she'd say "When you're older," again and again
I used to wonder when I'd fall in love
I used to dream of him somewhere, just a kid
Living his life like I was living mine
Never pictured a certain face, then at thirteen I did
I always used to think,
"At seventeen I'll have accomplished so much!"
Maybe I have, I'm climbing through high school
I tell myself "just keep going," but maybe I'm out of touch

Not sure how it sits with me
Not sure what I'm thinking exactly
But when I look back, I know what I see
God's been weaving a tapestry

I only see the back now, just a bunch of colors
But they're beautiful, not one quite like the other
I see Him blessing me in millions of ways
All the wise teaching, all the people who stayed
And even the ones who didn't, and it was just a season
For some of them I can finally see the reason
God helped me through Surge, and He gave me friends
Comforted me at Mission Arlington that night I thought I would end
God saved me from drowning when I slipped out of my floatie
God saved me from all the nights when I couldn't sleep
Maybe my depression inspired someone to keep going
Maybe He even used me a bit to make a difference in Shelby
He gave me this desire to write
So I can go back and know what I was thinking at certain points in my life
My Jesus gave me Joseph Arze
When I wouldn't admit he was the boy of my dreams
Because God works outside of "possibility"
Little did I know how my life would change because of a homeschool pool party
God gave me the perfect dad, mom, sister, and brothers
And these days I know how vital Baylie and I are to each other
He gave me drops in my bucket, happy texts when I need them
He gave me astonishing sunsets, and a window from which I can see them
He gave me hugs through Isaac when I'm crying over stress
Or because my friends are slowly dying and I can't get them out of the mess
He gave me money when I needed to go somewhere to serve
He gave me bandages multiple times through Baylie's and Joseph's words
He gave me tears of joy because of my beautiful friends
Hope, Jillian, Grace, Hannah, Kate, Abigail, Crystal, Megan
And the fact that I can go on farther is so humbling to me
What a bummer how I forget sometimes, but at least now I can see
Everything falls together so perfectly
Everything falls so perfectly

How apparent is Jesus's love
In the back of the tapestry, and one day I'll see the front
The only thing I know about seventeen
Is that I might be nervous, but God's still holding me

Seventeen belongs to my King.