I need to polish the gears in my mind
They can't turn without a heartwrenching whine
It's so loud, makes me feel I can't breathe
They're staring so hard, looking at the wall behind me
I want to scream that I'm here, but I'm not all that sure
The hesitance seems a bit more than I can endure
I promise, I promise, I promise
Don't worry about me, I will always believe
But something in my head or heart is bursting at the seams
And I'm always alone, always alone in my dreams
And in reality I slip away,
It scares me how I separate
But I can't sleep tonight
Just like the good old times
Something is killing me, and it might be coming from inside
I always say I cannot be here, but I don't think I want to die
What hurts me most is looking into their eyes
I cannot change a thing, no matter how hard I try
I jolted awake from sleep because I thought I was falling
Now I wish I was asleep because I feel that constantly
I need to restart, I need to restart
The ceiling painted all the words to tell me I can't do it
I hope you're sleeping right now, I hope you aren't being torn into pieces
And I know it scares you when I say I don't know what I'm doing here
But I suppose I'm just having one of those nights/years
I just want to make you proud, and I don't know how
Or even how to get out of bed in the morning
I know I need to stop buying into these lies
They scream into my ear that I'm running out of time
Through the walls of my mind, through the air, through my home
They're screaming bloody murder telling me that I'm alone
I know it's false, but the problem is that I'm screaming too
But over all these other sounds I just don't have enough volume