Change.

"Wow," they say, "you're growing up,
"Your eyes are strange, your face is changing."
Guess you could say I'm not the same
They keep saying, they keep saying
Here's a shade of many years
My hair is kept, my clothes are clean
I speak with intelligence
I'm not a child, I don't think
Now people from my younger years
See me passing time to time
Sometimes they avoid my glance
Sometimes they look me in the eye
They might greet me with a word
Or break into a smile
They seem like they're about to cry
Every once in a while
Sometimes they never say a word
And stay away a couple feet
That's when I pretend not to note
That they're staring at me
"Please don't tell me that I've changed,
"Believe me now, I know.
"If I've dealt with chapters full of pain,
"That would mean I've grown."
But I look at them and we both understand
Who I used to be's no longer who I am
How long will I be in this familiar stance?
I watch them observe the bruises on my hands

Well, you never know it's over till it's gone

And you never know there's hurt till it carries on

And they never know you're right till you prove them wrong

So you've gotta grow up and take a long shot

See, where's your little girl that earns tough boys' respect?

And where's the one with the soccer ball?

Wearing basketball shorts and her rugged hair down

Swinging or standing up tall

I guess she should've fallen off the face of your earth

Never thought you'd see her around

Maybe you fooled yourself into thinking she was never gonna change

As soon as you left her town

It doesn't matter.

I'm out of state now watching Florida blow through my sister's hair

And she's collecting seashells on the beach
And every time I flash back, you're always there
I'm still checking everyone's blogs
Every hour I'm away
'Cause there's a beating thing inside that cares too much
So I'm making sure that my girls are okay
The palm trees sway back and forth
And there's salt in the cool, cloudy air
There's a slight taste of home that keeps blowing about
And dear, I see you everywhere
I look out the car window
Just like I used to look out the one that sits in my room
My eyes are glued to the atmosphere
And I'm searching the sky for you

My thoughts take up too much space

So I hurl them onto this worn out blog

And they twist into barely-formed rhymes

I'm not like them, but I can try

Would that be enough for her?

Because it seems I've strained for something beyond the stars

I have to keep writing about how I don't need everyone's respect

Because otherwise they see the scars

You know, they never understand completely

And maybe only one person's ever really known me
The person I'm not gonna see for a few more weeks
No, they don't understand.
But she never tells me
About anything in her life
So my heart listens through doors
And reads between the lines
Every freaking time.
And she'll say that it's fine
She's good, she can lie
But she forgot I
Know how to read minds

That doesn't matter either, I'll write it till it's true

There are still so many things I'm learning how to do

Like how to trick myself into not thinking about you

It never works, but I get through 

I hold onto your voice when I hear it at night

Am I losing you, or losing the fight?

Everything goes like the fading of light 

You're more like a dream now, but it's still mine

And Mom says, "Missing makes the heart grow fonder,"

As if that was something I needed to ponder

And I tell myself that I'll keep getting stronger

But these days just tell me that they're stretching longer

But that's alright.

See, the things that used to matter to me

Don't matter to me at all

And the things I never thought about

Are the things for which I fall

I'm not excited to grow up

And they look at me like they're so done

But the one thing I can say is

Wendy Darling changes

(Don't Let Go)

If you open up the present
That I sent you through the air
Darling, you will find that
It's another solar flare

Parcel.

Wish I could say "I miss you," in Latin or French
So that it could have the effect all again
But I can't even speak to you, no, not tonight
So I guess I'll wait till another light
And speaking of light, remember our God
When things may go downhill, and it just gets hard
I'm sending you starlight from miles away
I'm packaging sunlight for when it dawns day
The postal service is nice, hope it doesn't get lost
With all the mail from other girls whose best friends are gone
I put on eight stamps, you know, just in case
I packaged it nicely and used lots of tape
I sewed in pretty words, till I see you again
And I may have written them in Latin or French

Never Here

I couldn't really feel then
What I'm feeling right now
I told you you could do it
Like I decided long ago

I couldn't really process
The fact that you were leaving
The fact that our goodbye was
Me just letting go

I told myself forever
I would be the strong one
Leaving it behind me
Holding my head high

I guess I broke my promise
When I went through the doorway
Then raced up the staircase
And in my closet, cried

So silently sobbing
Almost started yelling
But someone was over
So I choked on myself

Now that I could hold it
Now that I could grasp it
Now I see your face in
Everybody else

My sister had just told me
You've got thirty minutes
To pack up your backpack
Before we leave again

So I tried packing pieces
Of my tattered heart and
Put them in my backpack
And swore that it would end

I cupped some water in my
Hands and splashed it onto
My eyes to wash away the
Shimmering layer of tears

Won't tell them that it's easy
But they will never ask me
And if they ever ask you
I was never here

Wow

If I was really loyal
I wouldn't really know
If I was loyal to myself
It wouldn't really show
The one thing I can say is
I'm never letting go
Come to me, I'll run to you
If you need some hope
So find me in the darkness
When shadows make you scared
Find me in the water
When you're caught unprepared
I'll be by your side
You'll be in my care
That's when I'll protect you
'Cause no one else was there
I'll paint you a picture
But it won't be bright enough
I'll write you a poem
But I'll never say enough
I'll sing you a song
But it couldn't be pretty enough
'Cause you, you make
My mind go blank
Of all the things
I have to say
And you, you make
My head explode
With too much inside
That never shows
It's an impossible puzzle
That I can't seem to solve
The pieces are scattered
But it doesn't feel wrong
It's nothing I can write
I just know that it's real
And wow, stupid me
Trying to explain how I feel

Got Me.

I think you, and the moon, and Neptune got it right.



Echosmith 

Footsteps

Darkness enveloped my back and sides, but ahead of me came a light from the stage.  Lots of light, actually.  I could see the rest of the students as I studied the auditorium.  Most of them were in front of me, a lot of my friends were behind me, and one friend was by my side.  The other seat?  Empty.  Maybe I had been saving it for someone who never showed up.  There's no way to know.
The brightness of the stage continued to dim, and a gentle humming began.  A humming I knew.  Years ago, I felt, it had flowed into my veins, thus making its way into my heart.  It stayed, though.  Never left.
All of these thoughts happened in a second or two; funny how one's subconscious can navigate memories, emotions, senses, and observations so quickly.
Suddenly, Kate stood up, slightly crouched over as to not disturb the teenagers behind us.  My gaze immediately went to her as she spoke.
"Come on!" she said, just above a whisper.
The expression on her face was brighter then that stage could ever be, and she hurried out of our row of chairs.  Abruptly, I abandoned my plastic seat and followed, only half wondering what she was doing.  The rest of me swelled with adrenaline and joy as I tailed Kate down the side of the spacious room.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed other people starting to stand up from their chairs.  We ran.
In a moment's time, we were right in front of the stage, and the worship team had made their entrance.  I found us all the way to the left, but all the way to the front.  Everyone else gathered behind and next to us, and slowly, a song began.

"I was lost,
"With a broken heart."