Don't worry, I'll feel better when I get it out.

There's nothing to say
The silence, it eats me
It won't go away
I swirl in a storm I've not made
Though I'm losing myself,
So I wouldn't know anyway
Take it from me,
Would you take it from me?
All that's locked up inside
And won't let me sleep
I'm tired
I'm just tired
Like I'm drowning in the water
I used to put out the fire
Like maybe there's no way out of this
Like maybe there's no droplet of doubt I'll miss
Which is, of course, insane
Because I know that there's a way
And I know I'll see one day
That this life was worth the wait
Maybe not for me,
But for His name
And I suppose now that's worth it to me.
But these thoughts still drag me on
So I sew them to my blog
With stitches of feeling
From wounds that are healing
But it doesn't feel like that at all
And Trek is implanted into my head
Like the earth holds the train track
Every moment, emotion, and vivid memory
Everything that I'll never get back
The first time at Messiah's Ranch
Painful, beautiful, and full of foreshadows
Yeah, I saw nothing then
But that lake was far from shallow
And
I remember every moment of everything
Every facial expression, and anything
That would mean the slightest bit to me
The train tracks worth remembering
And I'm holding on tight
To the soul-forsaken train
That takes me through everything
I live it all again
Travel through oceans
Inside of my mind
Examine the concepts
And pains in disguise
Pull out my wooden box
Of pitiful lies
Look at the victories
And all of the tries
My train never fails
To take me through my worries
And my nightmares
All that's scary
Or leaves me scared
So I watch myself fall away from Him
I watch myself lose you
I watch my friends go and...
I watch me not pull through
You leave
They're gone
Lost her
I'm wrong
But nevertheless,
My train carries on
Though I have souvenirs
From all of my thoughts
I learn to be brave
Sometimes through the train
It hurts, but that's pain
And pain makes you change
Thus, I've lost myself
But maybe I've learned
Through my own spirit
Having tossed and turned
I'm losing myself
Don't know what to do
'Cause now I'm afraid
[That I'll lose you too]