Steering Wheels

I didn't see the stars tonight
A different something took me
I didn't see the stars tonight
Maybe I wasn't looking
You're amazed by me,
And I try to receive it
You tell me I'm great,
I'd die to believe it
There's something inside
That tells me to step out
"Believe, for once in your life"
[ B u t   I   o n l y   d r o w n ]
I want to believe that when I grow up
I can make music and be known
I want to believe I'll write songs and play them
But I always know I won't
I don't believe because I'm a pessimist
I don't act out because I don't have confidence
Isn't it painful to know that you could have been something great?
But I couldn't even help Zoe
And now she's gone
I can't even help my own brother
Always wrong

This year I turn seventeen on shaky ground
Because I'm afraid of steering wheels instead of clowns
I know God made me exactly how He wanted me to be
But it seems like it freaking sucks (and I'm the freak)

There's more I want to say.