Pajamas.

It scares me just how things can change
Before you knew they stayed the same
Like a really pleasant day
Watch it flowing down the drain
So I drown out what's imperfect
Here's my self and here's what hurt it
I try too hard to be the surest
*Starts to wonder if it's worth it*
I swear that I'm about to scream
What I lay down comes back to me
Can't I trust God with anything?
I'm never as good as I seem
Write myself a piece of hope
Seal it in an envelope
Put it up, someday I know
I may need that rescue-note
The lies surround this empty walk
I've been going far too long
I'm sore from going through this fog
And start to wonder if I'm a lost cause
Shout out to anxiety
For staying by my side
Oh yeah, I appreciate it
You've been there in the darkest night
But this is all I write about
It's all I ever write about
The things that I can't figure out
Am I too far gone by now?
I brush through my hair at night
And the day's troubles fall to the floor
But I pick several of them back up
And take them back with me through the door
I study late
Then my eyes are half-open
Still I'm turning a page
Until sanity's broken
That's when I arrive
Late in the night
Once in a while
Here, where I write
And I'll talk about the day
And the sun,
And how it was beautiful
Or I'll pour out the life
And the stuff
You'll see at my funeral
Then after I write
I'll tell the ceiling goodnight
Into that bed I'll climb
And just close my eyes
But there are times
Sleep only flies
'Cause my pajamas hold inside
The fear of suicide
(Will they still be alive
Come the morning light?)
This life is beautiful
And I treasure all these moments
And I have hope for the future
Because I know who holds it
I've made this excuse before
Every one of you has heard it
But when I pick them from the floor
I have to write out my burdens
Yes, I'm afraid
I wouldn't deny that any day
You've read all this anyway
I'm afraid they'll never stay
I'm afraid
I'm afraid
I'm afraid
Did you get that?
But that's okay
That's okay
It's okay
He's got my back
And He'll stay
And He'll stay
And He'll stay
And I need that.
And my life goes up and down
So with every lovely sound
And with every desperate shout
I know He's figured it out
Thank you God.
Then there's you
What a goon
But I gotta say,
You help me through
And I'm thanking God for you
That He went and followed through
Oh, the English language
I can use it fine sometimes
But then when it comes to someone
Well, I just run out of rhymes
So I'll leave it at "super"
A million times
Today was good
In the end
It's about perspective
Don't pretend
That you're not worth it
We all are, friend