Introspection

I open up the door
After picking the lock
There are mirrors and windows
And far too many thoughts

The windows are so clear
On the other sides are you
All you whom I love most
So I keep looking through

But I see inside the mirrors
In each a different girl
There's one with scars down her face
Another, a string of pearls

One thing stays the same
Each girl's pair of eyes
The same, but different too
Worn, dark, and bright

Some mirrors are gone
And some of them have cracks
Some of them are simply
Abandoned shards of glass

The items on the floor
Are not pieces of gold
But to me they're worth more
Than I have ever told

Some of them are letters
Some of them are books
Some of them are pictures
I take another look

Picking up a frame
I notice something more
I'm swallowed in the moment
The picture has in store

It all moves around me
I want to laugh and cry
This is a memory
That I have kept inside

My eyes move from the photo
And spot the chandelier
From it hangs a noose and
How long has that been here?

I cannot see the body
But I know it's not mine
Adulthood also hangs there
As though if from a vine

Scholarships and college
And someone all alone
Someone else is leaving me
And I see me all grown

There are other things too
But I just look away
That chandelier does not bring light
The light is what it takes

Paintings on the walls here
Between all of the glass
Thoughts from my own mind
My thinking from the past

Emotions swirl around me
But I stay back for once
I'm able to observe them
And I don't let them touch

I wish I didn't care so much
What other people thought
But I can't help it when I love them
No, I cannot stop

Oh how I wish I didn't care so much
What other people thought
Because they'll never ever decide
Who I am and who I'm not

And I wish I didn't hold so much
Behind these iron walls
And that I didn't have to hurt so much
When other people fall

Yeah, I wish I didn't hold so much
Behind these iron walls
And that I didn't care so much
When they don't see at all